Domestic Violence

Introduction

This survival kit tells you what you can do if you are threatened or hit by your spouse or partner. It is a self help guide that explains your legal rights and how to get help from the legal system. This guide also contains ideas to help you put together a safety plan and provides telephone numbers to call if you need shelter, advocacy services, counseling, a support group or if you just need someone to talk to. 

No one has a right to frighten, hit or injure you. It is against the law. In fact, there are many laws in New York State designed to protect people who are victims of their partner's violence. For example, police are required to arrest any person who they have reason to believe committed a felony assault or who has violated the conditions of an Order of Protection. Every police officer, peace officer or district attorney who investigates a domestic violence incident must provide the victim with information on shelters and other services in the community. They must also provide, in writing, information on the legal rights and remedies available to the victim. This written information must be available in English and in Spanish. These laws, and others which this survival kit explains, were put in place to help protect YOU. 

The legal system can be difficult and confusing to use. For a variety of reasons, the legal system can sometimes intimidate you, and may even dissuade you from seeking the help you need. Even in the best of circumstances, going to court can take a lot of time, work and patience. This survival kit is intended to help you in two ways. It provides up-to-date and accurate information about -the legal system in New York State and provides a general explanation of your legal rights. It can help you decide If you want to use the legal system and how to got your rights upheld if you do. Because each case is different, you should consult an attorney or legal advocate for specific advice about your case. 

WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Domestic violence is behavior - emotional, psychological, physical, or sexual abuse - that one person in an intimate relationship uses in order to control the other. It takes many different forms and includes behavior such as threats, name-calling, isolation, withholding of money, actual or threatened physical harm and sexual assault. Most domestic violence is committed against women by their male partners. It also occurs in lesbian and gay relationships and is common in teenage dating relationships. In a small number of cases, men are abused by female partners, but because 91 to 95 percent of all adult domestic violence assaults are perpetrated by men against their female partners, this booklet will refer to victims as female and abusers as male. In any case, every victim of domestic violence, whether female or male, gay or heterosexual, has the right to legal relief. 

The following checklist may help you decide if you or someone you know is being abused. Does your partner:

• constantly criticize you and your abilities as a spouse or partner, parent or employee?
• behave in an over-protective manner or become extremely jealous?
• threaten to hurt you, your children, pets, family members, friends or himself?
• prevent you from seeing family or friends?
• get suddenly angry or "lose his temper"?
• destroy personal property or throw things around?
• deny you access to family assets like bank accounts, credit cards, or the car, or control all finances and force you to account for what you spend?
• use intimidation or manipulation to control you or your children? hit, punch, slap, kick, shove, choke or bite you?
• prevent you from going where you want to, when you want to, and with whomever you want to?
• make you have sex when you don't want to or do things sexually that you don't want to do?
• humiliate or embarrass you in front of other people?

It you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you may be a victim of domestic violence. You are not to blame and you are not alone - millions of women are abused by their partners every year. Not all acts of domestic violence are violations of the law. In any case, you need not face domestic violence alone. You deserve help, and help is available. 
There is no one best way to try to protect yourself from future harm by your abuser. Whether you are working on a safety plan, needing information about your legal options, thinking about going to court, dealing with the police, in the middle of a legal proceeding, needing help from the local Department of Social Services (DSS), or anything else, you don't have to figure it all out on your own. In making decisions about what is likely to work best for you, it can be helpful to talk to a local domestic violence advocate. 

Advocates understand the criminal justice and family court systems and the Department of Social Services system, and they are also familiar with your community.In addition to giving you good information, domestic violence advocates can often go with you to court, to the police or to DSS to guide you through the process and to offer you practical and emotional support. While this handbook is intended to help you understand your legal rights, using the legal system can be a confusing and difficult process. Getting help from someone who has experience working with victims of domestic violence and who knows how to work with the different systems can make things easier for you. 

Safety planning

Whatever else you may decide to do, one thing that many victims of domestic violence find helpful is making a safety plan. You can make one yourself or you can call your local domestic violence program and ask them to help you think through a plan. If you decide to write out a safety plan, be sure to keep it in a place where your partner can't find it. Safety plans can be made for a variety of different situations - for dealing with an emergency such as when a physical assault occurs, for continuing to live with a partner who has been abusive, for continuing to date a partner who has been abusive, or for protecting yourself after you have ended a relationship with an abusive partner. 

Whether you are with your partner or have ended the relationship, whether or not you have used the court system whether or not you have ever called the police, there are certain things that are helpful to consider in planning for your future safety:

• Where can you keep important phone numbers (police, hotline, friends, shelter) for yourself and your children?
  
• Is there anyone you can ask to call the police it they hear suspicious noises coming from your house or apartment?
  
• If you need to get out of your house or apartment in a hurry, what door, window, elevator or stairwell will you be able to use in order to get out safely?
  
• If you need a place to stay for a while, where can you go? Can you arrange to stay with family or friends in a crisis? Do you know how to contact the local domestic violence program in order to arrange for emergency shelter?
  
• Where can you keep your purse, car keys and some change to make a phone call so that you can grab them quickly?
  
• Do your children know how to use the telephone to contact the police?
  
• Is there a code word you can use with friends, family and/or your children to alert them to call for help?
  
• Can you keep some money, some changes of clothes and important papers hidden somewhere your partner doesn't know about, but that you can get to quickly? Can you keep the "escape bag" with a neighbor or in the trunk of the car?
  
• If you think you and your partner are about to have an argument, how can you get to a room where there are fewer things that can be used as weapons? How can you avoid getting trapped in the kitchen, bathroom, basement or garage?

Leaving

If you decide to leave, even for a very short period of time, take your children with you if it's at all possible and you can do so without exposing them to harm or risk of harm, or violating a custody order. Not only can you better ensure the safety of your children if they are with you, but having physical custody of your children will help you get temporary or permanent legal custody of your children if you decide to file a custody petition with the court. 

If you decide to leave, take these things with you, if possible, because it may be difficult to get them later:

• Orders of Protection
• Custody orders, paternity documents
• Identification for yourself
• Birth certificates - yours and your children's
• Social Security cards
• Marriage, separation or divorce papers
• School and vaccination records
• Money
• Checkbook, Savings Account Passbooks, Automatic Teller Machine Card, PIN numbers
• Credit Cards and or account numbers
• Keys - house, car, office, post office box, safety deposit box
• Drivers license, car registration and title
• Medications and prescriptions
• Health insurance or Medicaid cards
• Welfare identification
• Passport, green card, work permit and any other immigration documents
• Several changes of clothes
• Children's favorite toys, security blankets
• Lease/rental agreement, house deed
• Mortgage Payment book, current unpaid bills
• Insurance papers
• Address book
• Pictures, jewelry, items of sentimental value
• Pictures of injuries you may have gotten from your partners abuse
• Any evidence that might help police in investigating your case, for example, threatening letters or phone message tapes. 
  
• Make copies of important documents and keys and find a safe place to keep them in case you decide to leave. A safe place can include a hiding place in your home or with a friend, neighbor or family member that you trust. 

Why Orders Of Protection Can Be Helpful

While an Order of Protection cannot guarantee your safety, it can help in several ways:

• Police are likely to take your calls more seriously if you have an Order of Protection.
  
• An abuser can be arrested and put in jail if he violates an Order of Protection.
  
• If an abuser is convicted of violating an Order of Protection and has violated one in the past, even against a different victim, he can be charged with Criminal Contempt in the First Degree, a felony.
  
• If an abuser violates an Order of Protection by causing physical injury or property damage over $250, lie can be charged with a felony.
  
• If you have left your home, an Order of Protection can make it easier for you to get the police to go with you to get your personal belongings; and
  
• If you are being stalked or harassed at work, an Order of Protection can protect you at your job. 
  
  Specifically, both Criminal and Family Court Orders of Protection can:
  
• Direct the abuser to stop the abusive behavior toward both you and your children.
  
• Tell the abuser to leave and stay away from your home, your job, and your family.
  
• Direct the abuser to have no contact with you meaning no phone calls, letters or messages through other people.
  
• Order the abuser to stay away from the children, their baby-sitter, day care or schools.

Family Court Orders can also do other things.

See Getting the Evidence Together. 

Orders of Protection can be helpful, but do not guarantee that your partner will stop being violent. Some abusers choose not to obey them and they have to be enforced. You may have to call police for help and you may have to go back to court. This should not discourage you from using the law to help make you safe. Know your rights. You are the best judge of whether gaffing an Order of Protection will be helpful in your situation. Members of battered women's support groups and domestic violence advocates can help you decide whether gaffing an Order of Protection is a good strategy for you. Your local domestic violence program can also provide help and information if you need assistance in getting an Order of Protection or in having an existing Order enforced. 

Victim Services

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PREVENTION PROGRAM (DVPP)

DVPP pairs a Victim Services counselor with an officer of the NYPD or the Housing Police. The team attempts to prevent family violence before it erupts by reaching out to all families reporting domestic disturbances to the police, reinforcing the message that domestic violence is against the law and that help is available to victims and batterers. Any person abused by a family member, who has filed a complaint with the police, will be contacted by the counselor or a Housing Authority police officer who has been specially trained in domestic violence cases. The complainant will receive references for getting an order of protection (the borough court), counseling and other services. The counselor and the officer will, when appropriate, do home visits as well. Counselors conduct roll call training 2-3 times a month. 

In New York State, all victims of domestic violence, regardless of income, are entitled to emergency services including shelter, counseling, support groups, advocacy and other crisis services. You may own property, have bank accounts or other assets, but if you are not able to get to them, you may still be entitled to help. In fact, if you are in immediate need, and you are eligible, you are entitled to receive help on the same day you ask for it. 

If you are eligible for services, the Department of Social Services (Human Resources Administration or HRA in NYC) may be able to help you:

• arrange and pay for a safe place for you and your children to stay;
• provide for emergency medical assistance (Medicaid);
• arrange for Expedited Food Stamps so that you can buy food right away;
• pay for storing your furniture and other personal belongings;
• pay for moving expenses, rent, security deposit or agreement, or brokers or finders fees;
• pay for household items needed to set up a home;
• pay for transportation for your Children to go to and from school while your family is in emergency housing.

Your local Department of Social Services (in NYC, look under the Human Resources Administration for your local Income Support Center.) Call before going to make sure that it is the proper office for your address (the place where you are staying, even if it is temporary). Your local domestic violence program can also assist you in applying for social services. 

If you have been beaten, abused or threatened with violence, the Department of Social Services will consider this an "emergency" and must interview you and make a decision regarding emergency assistance on the same day. If you are already getting Public Assistance and you have an emergency, tell the worker right away. If you are not getting Public Assistance, fill out an application and tell the worker that you have an emergency. You should complete the application and give it back on the same day you receive it. Your worker will tell you what information you need to get before you can get assistance to meet your emergency needs. You will be asked for proof of who you are and of who your family members are. The worker will also want to know if you have any income or resources, such as bank accounts or property. If you cannot get the information, your worker must try to help you get the information. 
If it is determined that your need is immediate, you should receive emergency shelter or food stamps or a food voucher the same day. 

If you are not in an emergency, you will be given an application and a list of necessary documents to prove eligibility. Appendix A shows those items you will need to prove certain things. Gather the documents and return to the center on the date of your interview. You will see a worker who will check the form and documents. If everything is filled in properly, you have all the documents, and you are eligible for assistance, your case will be recommended for opening. If you need to bring more documents, a decision will be delayed. You will be given a list of what is needed and a date to return. You should be told within thirty days of the date you turn in your paperwork if your application is approved or denied. If you do not have children, the decision may take up to forty-five days. Our advise, don't suffer, take action now!